Wedding Warriors

In a summer article in Elegala.com, Wedding Etiquette Expert, Claudia Lutman, wrote a fabulous article on the reasons to hire a wedding planner.

I have heard more than once, a bride that did not have a planner sigh and say “I wish I had hired a wedding consultant!”. It does not have to be a large wedding either to hire a planner. In December, I am the consultant for a small wedding of about 30 guests, and their needs are the same as a larger wedding.

Reason # 1:

A Theme Is More Than A Hodgepodge of Great Ideas
Your ideas are fabulous. But they are only the foundation of your theme. Remember: They are only ideas and pictures ripped out of magazines. Brides have ended up blowing their budget on one item to the detriment of the whole wedding. This is where your wedding planner becomes your magician. Knowing all the tricks and resources, your wedding planner can create a theme that runs through the whole event. They see the whole picture. If budget is a constraint, they will advise you how to economize and still achieve a similar look.

Reason #2:

Is Your Budget A Guideline Or A Blueprint For Bankruptcy?

A budget is an essential part of your wedding planning. Even a million-dollar wedding has a budget. A budget will give you perspective and it will center you. It will be a great comfort to you when you want to know where you stand financially. Expenses tend to mount up quickly, and your budget will always give your a realistic assessment. I have witnessed brides being so out of control that they end up randomly buying items that have no rhyme or reason. That money could have been spent elsewhere to make the wedding a better experience for the guests. Being realistic about your budget is essential. Don’t fool yourself with a figure knowing you can go over it.  You will only be hurting your chances of selecting the best possible vendors. Your wedding planner is your accountant and will believe the budget you give them. They honestly try to work within your parameters. Therefore, decide on a realistic figure so your wedding planner can recommend the vendors who will deliver the best work within your budget.

Reason #3:

The Venue Event Manager
When the event manager from your venue tells you they can do your wedding planning, they are not lying. They will do everything under the sun to oversee everything they are responsible for; however, they are not responsible for 90 percent of the details that go into your wedding. Some brides are shocked when things go wrong. They thought their venue person would be on top of things. Not necessarily. If they have several events that day, they can’t be held responsible for letting you know your flowers haven’t arrived or your best man is held up in traffic. Imagine walking into a bald room instead of the floral intensive ballroom you paid for. Your wedding planner is your overseer. Their job is to make sure everything arrives on time and complete. If you have 15 tables, 13 centerpieces just won’t do. They will get the florist to fix it. If the videographer does not show up, they should be able to find a replacement for you. Things happen, but it is your wedding planner’s job to see that things are fixed and end up perfect. Your wedding planner is your fairy godmother.

Reason #4

Timelines And Other Annoying Details
Checklists. Do we know anyone who likes them? And timelines. “Who has time to think of these boring things? I’m getting married!” I recall one bride saying. Actually, you might not be getting married after all if the minister does not show up. Timelines are critical. Timelines are necessary. And timelines keep your wedding planner sane. They thrive on them. You, however, should never be subjected to them. These are the things a bubbling bride should be kept far away from. They will certainly kill the excitement.

Reason #5

Synergy Applies To Vendors Too
There are vendors who work so well together you almost get double your monies worth. Having a vendor with an attitude can affect everyone. Your wedding planner knows these things and will steer you in the right direction.  By involving your wedding planner in the selection of vendors from the invitations on, you will be guided down the path of success. After all, synergy is what we are striving for!

Reason #6

What Are The Rules?
Brides need a go-to person for etiquette, wedding-related questions, and to keep the planning timeline moving forward. All brides need a liaison to help keep emotions and relationships from straining during planning. Your wedding planner is a combination of Martha Stewart and Emily Post. Do you really have the time and inclination to research, answer, and solve the problem yourself?

Reason #7

Overtime Charges Accrue Faster Than Champagne Pours
One hour of overtime with a location site or photographer can cost you plenty! Everyone is on the clock and so is your wedding planner. The difference is your wedding planner is on your clock. They keep everything in motion so extra costs are avoided. In the end, your wedding planner is the most cost effective choice you can make.

Reason #8

Frazzled Is Not Fabulous
Wedding planning and the events that lead up to your day will be stressful. You should have one job only. Keeping yourself relaxed and living in the moment. You need time to take in and enjoy this special day. Be with your loved ones. Be happy. Be kind. And mostly, be assured that your wedding is going to be the most fabulous day of your life.

Yes, all weddings have glitches. And yours will, too. But your wedding planner will make sure you never have to deal with or see them. You may never even know anything out of the ordinary happened. And that is the sign that you are a genius at wedding planning. You started out with great ideas, hired a wedding planner to bring them to life, and sat back like a pampered princess on your wedding day accepting all the accolades that you deserve.

This Saturday, the first Bridal Show in Wimberley is happening from 11am -4pm! For being a popular Hill Country wedding destination, it is interesting that it has taken so long for local vendors to be featured at a bridal expo. Maybe it is the growth of the industry here or perhaps it’s just timing.

I look forward to meeting those of you who can visit and you can meet me – the Wedding Warrior – at booth 3 at the Community Center, which is at the light across from River Rd. Though I can only be at the booth from 11am until 2pm, as guess . . . I have a wedding! I am crossing my fingers that the promised few degrees lower heat will happen from tomorrow or it is going to be a hot one.

If you want to find me on Sunday, I will be soaking in the Blanco River -reviving!

All the best,

Your Wedding Warrior.

Camp Lucy, is definitely not what most of us would consider a camp. There are no log cabins, no campfires or horses waiting to go out on a morning trail, but what is waiting at the top of the hill, nestled on a bluff is a breathtaking new venue for weddings and events. I love this space created with such passion, with meticulous attention to detail and consideration for another heritage. It began with a Church. A French Colonial Catholic Church built a century before in Vietnam.

Many of the Catholic Churches in Vietnam are being expanded and modernized with the smaller Colonial Churches falling along the wayside. Yet now sitting on a bluff in the Hill Country of Texas, up above Onion Creek, sits a beautifully restored Chapel. I sit in it often, as I wait for brides and their fiances or families come for a tour to see if this location is their ideal wedding venue. The wood carved doors are open and I can see the green expanse of lawn edged with native landscaping, running down to the open air Pavilion, another old sentinel from Vietnam waiting for the laughter and parties to come.

It makes me smile, and in this space I feel so peaceful. That’s something hard to come by in this hectic world, where many of us have to juggle so much to get through a day. I know that each bride and groom that comes through here is drawn to some unique detail and the overall beauty that this place offers for their wedding day, but I think it is the underlying serenity that makes everyone, well happy.

Another reason why I am smiling, is that everything about Camp Lucy is repurposed and revitalized (big happy sigh). Towards the end of August, there will an Open House, which I will post it as soon as the date becomes available. Wedding Warriors, will be there and I look forward to meeting you. Take a look at camplucy.com for pictures and the full story.

Until next time, journey well.

The age of technology is even changing the face of the traditional wedding invitations. For the eco-savvy bride, the email wedding invite is the way to create zero waste invitations straight to your guests email boxes. 

No, this is not Hallmark, but a dynamic, creative,  multi-dimensional and modern way to express your love. I wanted to do cartwheels when I came across this site, My Invitation Link (www.myinvitationlink.com) – wow! An on-line slide show that tells your love story and the date of your big day. With the wedding budget always in mind, this is also extremely affordable, requires no postage and it’s easy to track your RSVP’s. 

Take a look at their website and the sample invitations, to see if any resistance you might have had for holding on to the deeply entrenched traditional wedding invitation goes out the window for this new generation multimedia invite!

I love the Hill Country of Texas and I have definitely become a Hill Country girl. Several years ago I moved back to America after a long sojourn overseas and I mean long, take a decade or two. When I came back, I landed just outside of Forth Worth where my family lived and culture shock took over. Third world countries and even England move to a different pace and lifestyle, so one look at Forth Worth, and Dallas had me literally heading to the hills!

And to these hills surrounding Austin, is a haven for weddings. I stumbled upon one just recently, Hummingbird House and fell in love. Just outside of Austin, winding through a tree lined road, over Onion Creek, I spied the house through lush vegetation and I mean tropical lush. Okay, I was back in the Bahamas or maybe Malindi, on the coast of Kenya that’s what it reminded me of. I felt giddy, because for a bride who has been dreaming of an outdoor garden wedding, here it was!

They recycle, were revitalizing the beautiful old wood floors with all natural products and were conscious of being a sustainable event site. Danny was a gracious host and I look forward to being part of a bride and groom’s day at this jewel tucked away in Manchaca, Texas.

Those of us in the wedding industry work in advance of ourselves. We have to be able to think, to design, to put ourselves into a season, when it seems so far removed.  Like this week, when a late summer bride, musing if it will  be really hot and should the reception be indoors, when the South is going through another cold spell.

I think of last year’s heat. The Hill Country of Texas sweltering in its second year of drought. The land shimmering in it’s reflective heat waves, yet the weddings went on. When a bride asks, ‘will June be hot?’ I answer truthtfully, ‘yes’. If you are from Texas, if your guests are from Texas, then we understand and have adapted to the heat. We may not enjoy it, but we are acclimatized.

When I first moved to Singapore, the humidity, the heat was staggering – literally. We had just arrived from a blustery, chilly Christmas in Ireland and when I stepped out of the air-conditioned airport, with a jacket still on into the 100% humidity, I thought I was going to faint. Just trying to breathe in the wet laden air, was suffocating. My first year there, I must have taken over five thousand showers (literally) and then when I was pregnant, I lived in any water I could find! After two years,  both my mind and my body had adapted. I could run several miles and walk anywhere without, sorry girls – copiously sweating. I realized this, when newly arrived ex-pats (American, British, ect) would sit outside with us, sweat rolling off of them and say, ‘why aren’t you dripping like us?!’  Darwinism in action!

So, summer brides, it is wonderful to marry under wide Texas blue skies, but remember the comfort level of your guests, especially the older ones or very young ones. Make sure there is somewhere that they can take a moment to cool down and escape our sometimes merciless Texas heat.

I push my chair back and marvel at some of the ‘vendors’ or rather talented people who I am connecting with.

Let’s talk about photographers.~

I was so excited this year to be given the contact to Bonnie Berry, as Katherine O’Brien (whom I am an ardent fan of her work) had the date already booked. I looked at Bonnie’s blog, spoke with her and at gut level, knew that she was the right person for my lovely bride. Not only that, I love her photograhpy, the honesty she portrays, that unique quality that sets a photographer apart from others.

I have another photographer that I just like his work. It’s modern, chic, vibey, something that catches your attention. Marc Brown of Digital Legacy, is another one that captures the attention. 

Yet a bride and groom have to connect with the person who is going to capture the most important day of their lives.

I’ve been working on a book for the past several months, putting down stories of weddings. At first it was non-fictional, and trust me the stories were really good without embellishment, like the one bride who punched her bridesmaid. I wasn’t there to witness it, but my assistant was. When she came running to me with her eyes as wide as they possibly could go and a look of utter horror on her face, I knew something had happened. Something bad.

I watched one or two episodes of Bridezilla, and that was it – it’s terrifying. Where do they find these brides? Do they advertise in Craiglist? Is it posted under jobs? ‘Wanted, one bride, who has the potential to throw fits, drink until sick, cry when she’s denied and who everyone despises, even the groom. Oh and if scary precedes your name – yeah your the one! Be seen on National TV at your very worst.’ So, we had our first and thankfully only bridezilla. The wedding and reception went smoothly, but I always wonder what undercurrents were at play that day. 

So, my stories started involving and I found characters that just had to travel along with me. They are the steadfast, reliable, creative and funny people who are behind the scenes of a wedding. Now, my book-to-be is fiction, yet the heart of it comes from what I really do.

I was playing with names for the book and for my new wedding consulting business and my nine year old daughter, who is always reading over my shoulder said, ‘mummy, I know, you’re a wedding warrior!’ Wow, I liked it. The next few days the name just kept popping in and everytime it just made me grin. It felt right. To me a warrior, is strong, resilient, and skilled.  Not every warrior is engaged in war, look at Carlos Castaneda, his warrior is a spiritual warrior. Someone who is not afraid to act. Who has vigor and courage. A wedding warrior is someone who will stand steadfast alongside their bride and groom to ensure their day is as magical, as they have envisioned it to be.

I’ve been a warrior for awhile now,  finding my way down the path of life, sometimes faltering, but picking myself back up, dusting off the bruised knees and moving forward. Now, due to my daughter’s insight – I have become a wedding warrior. And you know what, I like it.